Monday, December 27, 2010

Mother & Sons


Yesterday, I woke up wondering about my Stepson. He's lived with us since pre-school and sees his Mom only a few times a year, so he is as close to me as my own flesh and blood. This was the first year where I felt the acute sting of in-laws: he spent Christmas Dinner the night before with his girlfriend's family. Even though we were 24 people here, it left a hole.

Then, in the afternoon, I watched The Manchurian Candididate. I mean really watched it. I used my remote to go back and dissect possible non-sequiturs, I made notes and even looked up reviews at the end.

Liev's performance was, of course, bang on.

What left me feeling restless was the relationship between Raymond and his Mom. Not unresolved in that I was looking for a warm fuzzy. I just felt unsatisfied that we did not learn more about their history, his deceased father, and why Eleanor was the way she was. For me that was the real meat of the story.

I realize Raymond's hypno/metalurgic/pharmaceutical (?) induced state means that we only ever see glimpses of the possibility of the real him, but that's where I found myself wanting more.

The scene (saturated in angelical bright light) where Eleanor is wiping him down was so pervasively creepy I could not help but shudder. Enhanced by Liev's incredibly childlike demeanor, Eleanor's surfeitive need for him, and that entails, was so gross I literally wanted to hurl.

Yes, I do tend to have reactions to resplendant acting which are far beyond cerebral. This is sometimes a good thing, sometimes not.

After dinner we wrapped up the day with a few episodes of Shatner's aptly titled Raw Nerve. At one point with Kelsey Grammar as guest, Shatner shares a story of his own Mother. He speaks to us of a 7 year old Bill asking his Mom who she loves more, Shatner or his Father. Apparantly she answered "Your Father." And when he asked why, she replied "Because he buys me presents."

This makes me wonder: what do we women do to our sons? For the most part, we're so good at being vocal about our feelings and needs - do we forget to stop ourselves before steamrolling haphazardly over theirs? And what do they submit to every day just to have a role as a man in our lives?

I know my Son struggled with the decision to go to his girlfriend's because he waited until the last possible second to tell me. Concerned about my feelings, but also afraid of dissapointing her: the girl he loves.

Now all I want this morning is for my son to get home so I can make him some ham and eggs and hear how it went and let him know that he did good.


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