Liev as I know him is pre-dated by his way-too-short run on CSI. What this means is I've never had the pleasure of being able to count on weekly, glossy TV newness from His Hotness. sob
There are probably a hundred lists I could write about shows I cannot believe Liev was not on. (Sopranos? Hellooooo David Chase?) And of course it's hard to remain unbiased - at this point I would be thrilled seeing him in just about anything. This is what happens when you're a cheerleader on the bench.
So, in the spirit of Television I've decided to conjure up a list of the Top Ten TV Shows in which I would like to see Liev appear. Unlike my previous If I Ruled the World style lists, this one is actually realistic. These shows could happen.
In order of pertinence to me, here are the Top Ten TV Shows I Wish for Liev.
10. Big Love: Anyone who's familiar with the film Phantoms knows that strapping on a pair of Dwight Schrute glasses does not instantly a creepy goofball make. Liev actually put some effort into playing Deputy Stu and flushed that character out beyond what was needed, to our benefit. I would be thrilled for Liev to bring some of that restrained craziness to Big Love. He deserves a chance to take a few risks and bang out some kind of wacky-do character for TV. Does Nicky need a stalker? Does Margene have a brother we don't know about? A new lover for Alby? How much hilarity could ensue? *Rubbing my devious hands together*
9. Californication: I don't really need to spell this one out for you, do I? Giggle.
8. Criminal Minds: I think artistically Liev is borderline too talented for these crime dramas. His layered portrayal of Mike Kepplar gave people downright visceral reactions to his character arc. We needed to understand why Catherine would be so broken up over his death, so Kepplar wore his struggles on his sleeve and Catherine (the mother-figure of the shift) picked up on it. I want some Liev as another good-at-heart guy, on either side of the law, and Criminal Minds has just the kind of brain bending situations this calls for.
7. Weeds: Judah and Andy need a brother. Andy's such a free spirit and Judah sounds like he was a modern day tzadik. How about a character for Liev that's being tugged in both directions? I think Liev would play off both Mary Louise Parker and Justin Kirk very well, indeed.
6. Damages: With Tom Shayes gone, Patty and Ellen need a man at the helm who can ride the rough patches and relish the good times (time?). Liev would reflect back Glenn Close's insane roller coaster of devotion and disdain with an acute sharpness that I'm sure few could muster.
5. The Martha Stewart Show: Liev has said he enjoys cooking and we know he appreciates food. I would love to see him go domestic next to this post-menopausal doyenne. Plus, would the sexual tension not be HILARIOUS? What could be funnier than Martha Unthawed?
4. Saturday Night Live: I'm hearing of more and more celebs who've eschewed these hallowed halls due to personal conflicts because of the show's extremely competitive and combative us or them culture. But Liev is quick witted and incredibly self-depracating, the two qualities that an effective SNL guest must have. In fact, why hasn't this already happened?
3. Inside the Actor's Studio: This venerable series spends an hour each week digging into the careers of actors. I cannot decide what part I would rather see. Having James Lipton dig into Liev's early influences would be a treat, but the piece de resistance could just as easily be the famous Bernard Pivot questions.
2. Who Do You Think You Are: My new favourite show. If you've never watched this family journey, you're seriously missing out. Celebs use geneological resources to resolve unanswered family questions and get to the bottom of their origins. I've never made it through an episode dry-eyed. And the idea of watching Liev excavate a facet of his family history, just knowing the impact that his grandfather Alex Milgram had on him, would be truly riveting television. I want to know Who Does He Think He Is?
1. 86th Annual Academy Awards: Can you just see it? Liev accepting the Best Actor award? I chose the 86th because that gives me enough time to finish my screenplay, snair a Producer to fall in love with it, attach Liev, find a Director, pre-pro, shoot it, post-pro and then get it into the festival circuit.
Someone alert Liev: this role begs a ponytail so start growing out those curls, Babe.
My list = My dream ♥